Time will tell.......

            Today was open to awesomeness with no worries nor overwhelming feeling but  when I saw her face as she walked in, my heart dropped from 24 stories high all the way down to the bottomless bottom. My body in reaction to that started shaking as a leaf in the wind, not of fear but of something certainly greater that I can't even explain.

            She didn't lay eyes on me, the yellow and green eyes wondered around the room claiming my invisibility,while mine were trying to catch a glimpse of them and her beautiful face. As I was sitting there, talking, laughing(trying) with friends of ours, she joined , sat and turned her back away for a little while and carried on her conversation then with all the grace in her body reached out and hugged her friend and kept going. Their conversation was very enthusiastic filled with laughter, giggles and blushes. I couldn't act as if her voice was inaudible like the melodies of my past haunting me from time to time, nor pretend not to feel her presence, for there was no pretense for me to hide in. No matter what, my presence went unnoticed while I was just sitting across the table..ha ha

                     I, every time she would care to let her charming voice be heard, had my eyes set on her. I, who mistakenly either from fear or God (only) knows what, lied to myself and held those feelings which caught up to me hitting so hard, taking me off my feet into the deep and quite confusing spiral of love.

                       Is it so or am I dreaming a never ending dream ? Please is it me, did I wait too long ? I wanna wake up then, please wake me up...      You know what ? Maybe I didn't wait too long since "everything happens for a reason" , I won't kill myself  trying to pull things apart and make sense out of this mess or figure out the puzzle. 

                      She was ready to leave, stood there looked at me and waved goodbye while smiling an unusual smile quite different than the one which grew out of our summer days. She walked away and left. With her, she took all the memories that I have to let go and in me the feelings are still growing. Feelings she pushes away nor allow to rest in peace in their bed of lyrical prose from my soul unto those sheets, with black and white lines  like a prisoner suit, bringing freedom to my being.

       I'm only a human , a simple man who wished he was more but is not. To my Maker, who holds all things and knows all, I might be more than I see myself, more than I was, growing closer to Him, and whether or not by His grace I get to find her, I will still enjoy my everyday for it's a gift to be alive at this time, in this land where awesomeness is upon us... :)

  

                        As long as I get to breathe in and out and my heart plays its beautiful music, I will rejoice and be happy .....only Time will tell...... 

Something to think about ?